Home



Back

 © Wendy Bardsley 2014

Back

How could she have thought
that playing the coquette with Schubert
would have been enough?


Her maid, I held my secret close.
The Countess did not know.
His music raged inside my bones.
I trembled in corridors yearning.


My skirts were heavy as I climbed the stairs.
I tingled to the sound of  his melodies,
those sustained notes;
the sharp edge of his need.


I had to have him now! And now!
So shun me if he must.
He could do what he would -
`Sie heist - die Sehnsucht! Kennt ihr sie?'


He claimed me daily, his instrument.
The fever of his kiss,
his urgency,
was harmony - not for the ear


but for the blood.
And I must have its swollen flood, its song.
No pastorale. No dream.
This was his fire!


Though somewhere in its ravishment
I felt the tread of death;
a minor key ...


It was self-destructive of me
to have taken him like that.
No other man can hold me now
without I do not think of him.